A beautiful Poem I came across while reading something :

He HoLds mE whEn I sTaRt To CrY
MaKeS mE sMiLe WiTh jUsT hIs EyEs
ShArEs My HoPeS, dReAmS, fEaRs
He WiPeS aWaY aLL mY tEaRs
I LoVe HiM wIth nO rEgReT
I JuSt HaVeN't FoUnD hIm YeT

Intrusive thought.. Is it necessary to hate someone in order to forget someone? Isn't realizing that things are not meant to be enough to let someone go? Honestly, I do not know what kind of person I am. Maybe people would judge me wrong here, but I have never hated anyone in my life. No matter how much hurt I have been in the process, I still feel that everyone is right at his/her place. In life,I might have hurt someone intentionally/unintentionally. But I still think I am a good human being because it is the state of my mind and the need of the hour which makes us do or say something that makes the other person feel bad. When I do forgive myself for hurting someone else, why cant I forgive the other person. I am not trying to be Mother Teresa here, nor I am trying to say that you should be forgiving so that that people misuse this and keep hurting you. In clear words, I am trying to say that forgive and let it go. Don't put things in your heart.. if someone broke your trust or did something wrong, understand that thing with open heart and mind, dont trust that person again .. just move on.  Dont repeat the same mistake, dont give another chance if you dont feel right, but let it go. The more you'll keep things in your heart, you'll never be able to move on because in whichever way it is, it is STILL in your heart and mind , even if it is in the negative way. I had read a story long time back which I want to share in brief here. There was a man who went to a saint to find answers to his problems. He said that 20 years before, he was best friends with a man who eventually cheated on him in business. He got broke emotionally, because of his friend breaking his trust and financially, because he lost huge amount of money. He started hating him, which is justified logically. Now, during those 20 years, he always had a revengeful attitude against him. He asked that saint a question :"I hate him to the core. What shall I do to let him down? I have not been able to live in peace during these entire 20 years".
To this the saint replied, " the only way to live in peace is to have him removed from your mind and heart. You think MORE about someone if you hate him.. because he still occupies a portion of your mind.. Whatever he did to you would come down to him eventually. Learn from your mistake what you did 20 years back and leave the things. Even if you take revenge now, that would not give you peace because you would go down along with him.."

Dont know what these words value at this time on this earth for many of us. But, right now, I feel, realizing things and letting go is the best solution to all the problems.. LEARN, UNDERSTAND and LET GO.. :)

The most amazing and beautiful place on this earth.. :)

It is easy to 'talk the talk of love', but far from easy to 'walk the walk of love'!!!!!!!


Read it somewhere. it is easy to 'talk the talk of love', but far from easy to 'walk the walk of love'. love in itself is a very strong word. many people have different definitions of it.. i am sure if you would google it, you would come up with zillions of pages which will describe what love is..
for me, love is complicated. the more i'v tried to explore this four letter word, the more iv felt i am trapped in it..  some months back, i had written a post which said that if ever you feel you are confused in your life, take a step back and analyze the situation as a third person.. but dont know why,now i feel that in some cases, even this doesnt work. sometimes the situation is like a gamble.. you dont know how, when and why you have got trapped in that gamble that even judging it as a third person would leave you nowhere.
The strangest part is, being in a situation in real sense is lot more challenging than merely "critically examining" it. And honestly, I never understood this before. Normal behavior of humans it to judge other people and that's what even I used to do when any one my friends used to discuss "their" stories. Sometimes, I even used to mock at them behind their backs thinking how foolish they were. I feel bad today. I distinctly remember a friend, who was supposedly so much in love with a guy that she even fasted for him for his long life.. On the contrary, the guy used to give a damn about her. He used to ignore her calls, her texts, anything she did. Whenever this friend of mine used to share all these things with me, I used to laugh, make fun of her and even wonder why my friend is being so stupid. I never tried to understand her story, her part, maybe her so called "emotions" for him.. I started judging her and somewhere subconsciously I had made a image of her.. "She is a fool":.. Never realized maybe some day someone else can think of me as a fool too.
I feel lost, because I feel I am standing in my friends shoes today. I did a mistake. I fell in love with someone who never reciprocated the same way. It happened for the first time in my life I felt I am crazy for someone and every time I did something out of the way for him, it felt right. He never reciprocated the same way, never appreciated what I did. And , I have no idea what made me love him so much , but yes I did think that it maybe that is what love is.. loving someone unconditionally even if that person doesnt fulfill your expectations.. maybe it was one sided, but it felt right at that time. Gradually, it faded.. I realized that he and I are not destined to be together.. many reasons, many situations.. And it ended.. I realized the wrong doings on my part.. But, when my friends ask me the same question now .. what made me fall so madly in love with him when he never reciprocated back , I have no idea what to say. I feel I am judged.. The same things which I used to tell my friend are being told to me. It is a sinking feeling.. Not because I am feeling I am judged, but because I don't have answers to their questions.. Maybe my blog line is rightly justified in this case, "It is all about perspective". Learnt from my experience too..  No one is wrong, it is the situation and perception that makes a person differentiate between denial  and reality,,  :)..

sometimes life gets so strange.. people you thought you are never gonna lose get so away from you.. and you didnt even realize what made them feel so detached from you over the time.. well.. talking about my best friend.. not now any more though.. it was always so much fun with him.. we used to do hell lot of stuff.. joking around.. poking each other.. non stop gossip.. everything used to be so great during the college days.. and poof.. its all gone now.. whom to blame.. different priorities.. ?? or dont feel the connection any more?? communication gap?? more options of people around him?? or maybe my new boyfriend?? i dont know.. it feels shit to be in this mess.. i never thought i would ever lose him no matter any damn thing happens.. with time, we lost contact .. where frequency of talking used to be twice everyday went to twice in 2 months, it felt like shit.. and he not even realizing that when are growing apart made me more annoyed.. it was most of the time I calling him .. but sometimes his office friends, sometimes his work, sometimes some other stuff.. all went in the way of creating gaps between us.. i really dont know whose fault it is.. because gradually too, i stopped calling him.. i called only when i used to get really upset and needed someone around me.. not realizing that he might get upset that why do i only feel like talking when i need someone.. but.. isnt that what friends are for..?? specially best friends??.. i stopped calling in the first place because he was always too busy.. but sometimes i really needed him.. but, i guess that backfired.. more importantly, he never understood.. it was more than a month that we had talked.. and this is now our last conversation went.. (just a jist of it)...

I- you know what.. I am really frustrated.. I just feel that we aren't friends any more.. the bond that we used to have is all gone.. we hardly get time to talk..

he- i know that .. but i usually get so tired after work that i hardly feel like talking..

I- i understand that.. but you have time to talk to your other friends and come on facebook, but talking to me is a big thing for you??

he- its not that.. with other friends too, its only 5 minutes every day.. not much.. and coming on facebook is a little convenient.. talking isnt..

I- oh c'mon.. you talk to them "EVERYDAY" and not talk to me even once in a week..

he- why the hell you are blaming me continuously.,. its your fault too.. even you dont call me.. and even if you do, its always when you are upset over something,.

I- so what am i supposed to do.. I stopped calling you in the first place as you were always busy.. and when I am upset, whom shall i talk to then??

he- i was never busy.. its just that you dont call.. its not that i dont say things means I dont feel stuff...

I- let it be.. you would never understand.. its just that i am too frustrated with things.. and when you of all people dont understand, it gets more irritating.. (and then i say hell lot of things making me feel frustrated..)

he- silent

I- okay.. i am going to sleep.. head aching badly..

he- bye.

then I recieve a msg- see again you did the usual stuff.. you kept talking about urself and didnt even ask me what is going on in my life..

and this was the point when I realized that our friendship had come to that level when we had to "ASK" things about what is really happening in our lives??

the bond where we used to message or call instantly that so and so has happened in my life has come to a point where we need to do a formality?? and when the hell did he ask me about anything?? i told him because i thought he deserved to know that how my life is going.. I felt broken.. because never thought our bond had gotten so weak..anyways.. i couldn't sleep that night..

next day on facebook-

i wrote the same thing i felt.. that why the need for formalities and stuff.. it is expected that when something happens, we would definitely tell each other and not waiting for the other person to actually ask it first.. (and out of frustration i ended it this conversation saying that ...)this isnt going anywhere and if he needs me I am there, but otherwise, there isnt anything left .. and all he replied was a "OK"..

I always knew that he had some things kept in his heart against me.. but.. never thought they were so big... I guess that is what is life is about.. priorities change.. people who were closest to you once are no more your friends even.. this time, I wont ask him to come to me.. because i am not ever sure whether he wants me in his life or not... sucky feeling though.. but have to live with it.....

a conversation with a male friend while on my way back home.... let the friend be named as "x".

me- hey.. tell me one thing..is it true that the guys start losing interest gradually in a relationship?

x ( laughing)- i'll tell you an incident of mine.. if a girl in the starting itself shows interest in me, I don't feel like talking to her and I backout.. on the contrary, if a girl twists and turns the things.. and is a little hard to get, i somehow get attracted to her..

me- lol.. how typical..

x- no seriously man.. this is what a normal guy physcology is.. and this is 100 percent true.. we like running after things which are not that easy to get...

me- so doesnt a person's nature or care etc etc matter.. doesnt the love and care she showers matter.. all that matters is how hard she is to get..??

x- well... all depends on the upbringing.. the simple thing in clear cut words is.. that a guy would always want to be with the person who is caring and loving... but if given an opportunity to wander off temporarily, he would definitely do that.. but hey, why you asking all this?

me- generally.. just trying to understand a guy mentality.. lol.. as if i didnt knew.. but just wanted to know that do ALL guys think this way..

x- so, whats the conclusion?? (laughing)

me- being extra sweet is of no use.. if you want a guy to be hooked onto you, tactics are a must must....

x- haww... how can you use tactics if you love someone?? (pokingly)

me- shut up.. i love someone is a different thing.. but making a guy realize that he loves me is an entirely different thing..and for which you have to somehow be extra naughty at times.. ;)

x- lol.. that's why i say you are a typical delhite.. lol.. but please dont share your tactic stuff with my girlfriend.. cuz she is already one step ahead of you..

me- you guys deserve that.. lol..

Funny how we try to move on and at the same time, hold on.

hmm... strange controversial statement, yet so true.. sometimes we don't even realize that is the thing which we are doing the one we actually want.. and the entire thing revolves around one thing.. WHAT DO WE WANT!!!... we desire to do something different, a change which we feel will be a lot better than the present situation.. yet, we hold on.. simple reason, which is applicable to most of the situations.. we are so much attached or used to the present scenario that going out of the comfort zone gives us pangs.. wel.. from my perception, this is a normal human behaviour.. but iv lately realized one thing.. if ever, you are confused in your life.. just take a step back.. dont put efforts.. dont do anything.. just take a step back and see things from a broader picture.. you'll eventually realize what you want and what you should do.. because we analyze the situations best when we see it from a third person's view point.. so, in any scenario.. maybe when you are too messed up with things.. just leave the situation as it is... stop using your brains temporarily.. take a step back... let the things come to you..and they will surely.. because when you are too much involved in a situation, sometimes you are a better judge when you walk away from it.. the more you run after things, the more they'll run away from you.. just go with flow.. eventually, all the pieces would fall in their perfect place...