LET IT BE!!!!
ego.. kills evrythin.. it creeps in your mind and body, so much that you get too away from your heart.. stop listening to probably the right part of your mind and strt hvin a revengeful attitude.. mayb not revengeful.. but certainly.. i-give-a-damn attitude.. lately, i realizd this has become too dominant in me.. wel.. i wud like to share something..i had one strange experience..
i went out with my frnz last week... it was fun.. since, we were meetin aftr a long time.. evrythin went well.. and they have this huge idiotic habit of clicking their pics evry small place they go, in evry posbl pose.. okay.. so.. i was really not interestd in this.. and i wandered off to explore the place.. the place was an open cafetaria.. while i passed thru a table, i saw a a girl and boy sittin.. the girl crying.. although i dint manage to hear much.. but i ovrheard the girl muttering to the guy.. " but.... i want to end things on gud terms" ... hmm.... it sounded weird to me initially.. i came back home.. bt this thot didnt seem to leave me.. who all of us actuly hv guts to repair the broken bonds? and leave apart repairing.. are we bold enuf to face our old relations and say ,"i think things aint right btwn us and let's part our ways.. but on gud terms..."..i thot ovr it.. that would i?? wel...i was in dilemma.. i thot ovr my past brokn relationshipzz.. and they all had ended bitterly.. and so.. as i have this strange habit of pondering over anything and evrything.. my brain cells startd working..and i kept wondering that would i really call/msg them to meet once and actuly speak out that so and so went wrong, apologize my share of mistakes..and say.. okay.. so this is it.. let's end it on a good note?? .. and wouldn't they think i am a fool out here?? i mean.. msgng or calling someone suddenly out of blue.. aftr 2/3 years.. who wouldnt think i am mad.. bt.. bt..
well.. honestly admitting.. i really wantd my heart to ovrpower me..i thot of being good for once.. i desperately wantd to msg an old frnd.. "i want to play my share well as a frnd.. i want to end things on good terms..".. bt.. i didnt..y poke a crocodile now wn hez asleep since years... and that was it!!!! ego overshadowed yet again....
i knew i cudnt do it.. would u??
u wud nt believe me.. bt.. i hv dne this thing.. only once though.. i dint call up that person.. bt i sent a mail... apologizing for my mistakes after a yr or so.. though i never gt any reply.. bt it certainly helped me gt that thing out of my mind...
ReplyDeletetht does require a lot of effort.. i mean.. thinking that a person may not reply creeps me out.. u hv really done a gr8 job!!
ReplyDeletehmm..well thought over bt the fact remains
ReplyDeletethat in frndship or in any relationship for
that matter, once ur ego creeps in , there
isnt much left...well all this sounds gr8 in
reality, bt luk at ourselves...wen hv we
selflessly given in to the ppl we care
bout...smwhr or the other, its bout us..even
if we;re endin on a gud note..its stil bout
us..our ego..our satisfaction, our benefit!
bout apologising, i think we shuld al do
it..an old frnd of mine recently apologised
to me..she hd left me wid no note, no bye
nothin n i cnt tell hw much it hurt, bt wen
she mailed me after 3 yrs, i respected her
for it..she nvr replied to d reply i sent her
in return, but i still value her n respect
her more than anther one who didnt bother any
contact..so i feel..let go of the ego..go
ahead, apologise..if that person dsnt
reciprocate, fine..bt atleast smwhr smday,
he/she wil remember wat u did n amend his
ways hopefully too!! p.s: well written
swtheart!!! n next time, ponder bout all this
wid me!
tc..lov ya!!