I generally write blogs when I have a reason to think.. I like to vent out everything within me, maybe because I get better clarity when I am introspecting while writing or maybe because I feel so helpless and frustrated that I don't have anything else to do...
I heard a statement today.. "we only search for those things in our life which we have experienced sometime in the past, even if it was for a fraction of second..".. for things which we have yet not felt or experienced, how can we try to find them? My view is.. a mix.. that's true we search for those things which we have felt in the past and want to experience in future too.. but its also true that we have a quest within us to find more about those things which are unsure of on how they'll feel.. most of us dont know what we want.. we have a typical schedule each day, following a routine and unsure of our deep hidden thing desire within us... we run, run more and keep running not knowing where to stop.. I am not trying to sound philosophical, but had an intrusive thought today.. why is that people conveniently put things on you and go away.. If I have a friend and we decide on something, and maybe I do something different which probably I dint intend to do it that way, but he misinterprets it. what is the right solution.. conveniently putting things on me, telling his decision or trying to discuss it with me first on why I did so and so thing and coming to a mutual decision?
Life is strange.. people come by our choice but go by their own choice.. I guess I am the one incapable of love and even friendship.. maybe because I cant articulate well and let people make their own choice and dump their decisions on me or maybe i havent yet made a difference in anyone's life.. either ways, i have to let it go.. people i think are worth always disappoint me.. partially because of their own mistakes and partially because i could never make right choices..

Emotions are like wild horses... they can only be tamed when they get tired.. :).. nice quote.. has a nice meaning if understood well..
Just a thought.. life is about making decisions..taking risks.. and exploring oneself and life.. life has no meaning without the gamble we do at every step. gamble not in actual sense, but literally, holding the meaning that we have to play our cards right. we don't know what is going to happen at next step, yet we anxiously wait for that 'next' moment.. maybe because there is uncertainty involved in it .. if we play it wrong, we end up either in despair and frustration or in a more confident way to play more and win it 'right' this time.. At every stage of making decisions, we have two options to chose. One, where we very carefully calculate all the permutations and combinations and then play safely. Second, to understand the risks involved and then play smartly.  I believe in choosing the second path, not because i feel I will always play smartly , but because if I wont choose the risky path I'll always have a "maybe I could win" feeling. At least, now I have taken the risk and I know for sure what was the fate ..it gives me a chance to know and explore myself more as a person too.. what's the point in being safe all the time.. living in 'maybe' world is not my cup of tea. What is yours? :)

Feelings & emotions change. It doesn't mean that if you don't feel something for each other anymore, the Love is gone. If Love were only feelings then there's no such thing as Lasting. LOVE can sometimes turn numb or even may boring. You just have to be patient because love itself is Life. Not all the time you were IN for all it's happiness. Sometimes you also have to give IN to it's bitterness, but no matter what, as long as you choose and decide to continue... it will be more beautiful. :)

A beautiful Poem I came across while reading something :

He HoLds mE whEn I sTaRt To CrY
MaKeS mE sMiLe WiTh jUsT hIs EyEs
ShArEs My HoPeS, dReAmS, fEaRs
He WiPeS aWaY aLL mY tEaRs
I LoVe HiM wIth nO rEgReT
I JuSt HaVeN't FoUnD hIm YeT

Intrusive thought.. Is it necessary to hate someone in order to forget someone? Isn't realizing that things are not meant to be enough to let someone go? Honestly, I do not know what kind of person I am. Maybe people would judge me wrong here, but I have never hated anyone in my life. No matter how much hurt I have been in the process, I still feel that everyone is right at his/her place. In life,I might have hurt someone intentionally/unintentionally. But I still think I am a good human being because it is the state of my mind and the need of the hour which makes us do or say something that makes the other person feel bad. When I do forgive myself for hurting someone else, why cant I forgive the other person. I am not trying to be Mother Teresa here, nor I am trying to say that you should be forgiving so that that people misuse this and keep hurting you. In clear words, I am trying to say that forgive and let it go. Don't put things in your heart.. if someone broke your trust or did something wrong, understand that thing with open heart and mind, dont trust that person again .. just move on.  Dont repeat the same mistake, dont give another chance if you dont feel right, but let it go. The more you'll keep things in your heart, you'll never be able to move on because in whichever way it is, it is STILL in your heart and mind , even if it is in the negative way. I had read a story long time back which I want to share in brief here. There was a man who went to a saint to find answers to his problems. He said that 20 years before, he was best friends with a man who eventually cheated on him in business. He got broke emotionally, because of his friend breaking his trust and financially, because he lost huge amount of money. He started hating him, which is justified logically. Now, during those 20 years, he always had a revengeful attitude against him. He asked that saint a question :"I hate him to the core. What shall I do to let him down? I have not been able to live in peace during these entire 20 years".
To this the saint replied, " the only way to live in peace is to have him removed from your mind and heart. You think MORE about someone if you hate him.. because he still occupies a portion of your mind.. Whatever he did to you would come down to him eventually. Learn from your mistake what you did 20 years back and leave the things. Even if you take revenge now, that would not give you peace because you would go down along with him.."

Dont know what these words value at this time on this earth for many of us. But, right now, I feel, realizing things and letting go is the best solution to all the problems.. LEARN, UNDERSTAND and LET GO.. :)

The most amazing and beautiful place on this earth.. :)

It is easy to 'talk the talk of love', but far from easy to 'walk the walk of love'!!!!!!!


Read it somewhere. it is easy to 'talk the talk of love', but far from easy to 'walk the walk of love'. love in itself is a very strong word. many people have different definitions of it.. i am sure if you would google it, you would come up with zillions of pages which will describe what love is..
for me, love is complicated. the more i'v tried to explore this four letter word, the more iv felt i am trapped in it..  some months back, i had written a post which said that if ever you feel you are confused in your life, take a step back and analyze the situation as a third person.. but dont know why,now i feel that in some cases, even this doesnt work. sometimes the situation is like a gamble.. you dont know how, when and why you have got trapped in that gamble that even judging it as a third person would leave you nowhere.
The strangest part is, being in a situation in real sense is lot more challenging than merely "critically examining" it. And honestly, I never understood this before. Normal behavior of humans it to judge other people and that's what even I used to do when any one my friends used to discuss "their" stories. Sometimes, I even used to mock at them behind their backs thinking how foolish they were. I feel bad today. I distinctly remember a friend, who was supposedly so much in love with a guy that she even fasted for him for his long life.. On the contrary, the guy used to give a damn about her. He used to ignore her calls, her texts, anything she did. Whenever this friend of mine used to share all these things with me, I used to laugh, make fun of her and even wonder why my friend is being so stupid. I never tried to understand her story, her part, maybe her so called "emotions" for him.. I started judging her and somewhere subconsciously I had made a image of her.. "She is a fool":.. Never realized maybe some day someone else can think of me as a fool too.
I feel lost, because I feel I am standing in my friends shoes today. I did a mistake. I fell in love with someone who never reciprocated the same way. It happened for the first time in my life I felt I am crazy for someone and every time I did something out of the way for him, it felt right. He never reciprocated the same way, never appreciated what I did. And , I have no idea what made me love him so much , but yes I did think that it maybe that is what love is.. loving someone unconditionally even if that person doesnt fulfill your expectations.. maybe it was one sided, but it felt right at that time. Gradually, it faded.. I realized that he and I are not destined to be together.. many reasons, many situations.. And it ended.. I realized the wrong doings on my part.. But, when my friends ask me the same question now .. what made me fall so madly in love with him when he never reciprocated back , I have no idea what to say. I feel I am judged.. The same things which I used to tell my friend are being told to me. It is a sinking feeling.. Not because I am feeling I am judged, but because I don't have answers to their questions.. Maybe my blog line is rightly justified in this case, "It is all about perspective". Learnt from my experience too..  No one is wrong, it is the situation and perception that makes a person differentiate between denial  and reality,,  :)..