LET IT BE!!!!


ego.. kills evrythin.. it creeps in your mind and body, so much that you get too away from your heart.. stop listening to probably the right part of your mind and strt hvin a revengeful attitude.. mayb not revengeful.. but certainly.. i-give-a-damn attitude.. lately, i realizd this has become too dominant in me.. wel.. i wud like to share something..i had one strange experience..

i went out with my frnz last week... it was fun.. since, we were meetin aftr a long time.. evrythin went well.. and they have this huge idiotic habit of clicking their pics evry small place they go, in evry posbl pose.. okay.. so.. i was really not interestd in this.. and i wandered off to explore the place.. the place was an open cafetaria.. while i passed thru a table, i saw a a girl and boy sittin.. the girl crying.. although i dint manage to hear much.. but i ovrheard the girl muttering to the guy.. " but.... i want to end things on gud terms" ... hmm.... it sounded weird to me initially.. i came back home.. bt this thot didnt seem to leave me.. who all of us actuly hv guts to repair the broken bonds? and leave apart repairing.. are we bold enuf to face our old relations and say ,"i think things aint right btwn us and let's part our ways.. but on gud terms..."..i thot ovr it.. that would i?? wel...i was in dilemma.. i thot ovr my past brokn relationshipzz.. and they all had ended bitterly.. and so.. as i have this strange habit of pondering over anything and evrything.. my brain cells startd working..and i kept wondering that would i really call/msg them to meet once and actuly speak out that so and so went wrong, apologize my share of mistakes..and say.. okay.. so this is it.. let's end it on a good note?? .. and wouldn't they think i am a fool out here?? i mean.. msgng or calling someone suddenly out of blue.. aftr 2/3 years.. who wouldnt think i am mad.. bt.. bt..

well.. honestly admitting.. i really wantd my heart to ovrpower me..i thot of being good for once.. i desperately wantd to msg an old frnd.. "i want to play my share well as a frnd.. i want to end things on good terms..".. bt.. i didnt..y poke a crocodile now wn hez asleep since years... and that was it!!!! ego overshadowed yet again....
i knew i cudnt do it.. would u??

HEART AND SOUL FOR FRIENDSHIP!!!:)

Hmm.. frnz are.. a very special part of our lives.. we laugh ‘n’ cry with/for them, share the deepest of our secrets , make the weirdest name possible for the group, do silly things with them without getting conscious and of course, do not fake when together... however, if you ask me, the best part of having frnds is that even when you are stuck up in a mess or commit a huge crime , you can go up to ur frnd, make an innocent puppy like face (that’s important, you see :)) , confide to them and still expect your frnd to hug you tightly and say, “ don’t worry.. I am there”.. but.. how do we ultimately decide on which ppl to rely on and call “frnz”..

I think it’s more of a co-incidence or what we call in frndship lingo as “clicking” which really matters.. it’s said old is gold..and one should always preserve the old frnship.. but how many of us feel sad, watching a group of frnz enjoying in front of you and you remembering the past which you spent with your old frnds, and feeling the pain bcuz you can’t have that time back .. many of us.. rite?? 90% of us have lost the touch with the past frnz.. and even if we are in touch, the intensity of loving them and hoping to be loved back has decreased.. speaking about me.. till date, I have had around 15 best frnds.. and each time I thought that this best frnd is better than the previous and the best frnd bonding is ever lasting ( which never proved so, as of now..).. and now ultimately.. I hv stoppd making best frnds…hihi.. one thing I’ve realizd from past is that..some of my ex-best frnz don’t mean the same to me..some times it was my mistake and some times theirs.. we nevr cleard it out of sheer ego and the fear of being "chaep"..ultimately.. our care and feelings for each othr have changed..and many of you will agree, that seeing the old relations change hurt the most…

I have had fights with my frnz for silliest of the reason.. like.. sharing the same crush ( that was so common ).. ,not calling them, not giving enuf attention, not doing what your frnd wantd u to do.. bt the best one was.. when I used to score higher marks than my best friend “kartika”..she used to literally plead in front on me not to disclose my marks in front of her parents and as usual.. the first thing after getting my score sheet was to go to her house and tell my original marks.. hihii..it used to be mean, but I usd to enjoy the look on her face and she still shouts on me for that..hihii :)…

One of the best part of frnship is when you count back on them in case of rarest of the rare problem you face.. I am reminiscised of an incident that happnd few years back.. suddenly at around 2 a.m, I got a call from my frnd’s mom.. and I vaguely remember her questions.. was I talking to my frnd so late? What were we talking about? Who called? Do my parents know about it? And I in a sleepy trance, dint evn know what to say.. I somehow realizd that my frnd must be talking to her bf and on being caught by her mum, would have told her that shez talking to me. I was really furious with her the following day.. but this is what are frnds supposed to be!! THROWING THEIR FRNZ IN TROUBLE IN ORDER TO SAVE THEMSELVES…..huhhh…

Having true frnds is like wow!! True frnz are like.. You trust them the most.. You can call them at any hour of the day and say whtevr u want to irrespective of how much they are getting bored..You blackmail them the most.. You pull their leg the most.. You are possessive for them the most.. You even fight with your parents..to talk to them.. to meet them.. bt I think it’s a part of life!! And if you have a set of true frnz who really understand you… Life is all about enjoying to the core..

A best friend of mine once said, ” every once in a while people step up.. they rise above themselves.. sometimes they surprise you.. and sometimes they fall short.. life is funny sometimes.. it can push pretty hard.. but if you look close enough, you find hope in the words of your frnz..if you’re lucky , n if you are the luckiest person on this planet, the person you truly call your frnd, would decide to call you the same throughout their life..”..
so.. what do you think about it?? :)

i strongly believe in the phrase "it's all about your perspective"... drz something in this phrase that changes the entire outlook of your life.. well... since this is my first post.. i would like to write something that most of us can associate ourselves with.. "teenage life"... i am just out of my teenage life.. being 20 feels mature, responsible and of course.. no cupid striking you the way it often used to some months back.. one thing that i was addicted to when i was a teenager.. was... chatting.. i used to be online for 5-6 hours daily ( not exaggerating), chatting with different people.. i can bet on it that therz nt evn a single chat room i havnt explord... and of course..my parents dint know this addiction of mine.. they always used to wonder what the hell i do on internet.. obviously.. out of 8 hours, keeping 14 hours out of 24 for my sleep and skul, 5-6 hours on net was not less.. infact.. it reminds me of an incident.. when my mother came to me one day.. seeming very serious and all, asking me what do i do on net.. it turned out quite hilarious for me seeing my mom wondering that even after her constant history and cookie check, how do i manage to delete everythin, without fail.. she never found out that i chatted so much..my mom still wonders what i did during those days...hihiii.. okay.. so.. one thing which i loved doing on net was to befool people.. my partner- in- crime was my then best friend "ankita"... one day ankita called me that she has asked someone to meet her.. on asking where, she told me that since we had an exam in our fiitjee coaching centre the next day, he'll come there, holding a red flower in his hand (this 'nishani' was necessary to recognize him as 4 years back were not the days we carried cell phones).. finally, the D-day came, and since we had never such a thing before, both of us were nervous.. suddenly, we spotted a guy carrying a red flower.. and no kidding.. he turned out to be the most pathetic guy i had ever seen.. sticky hair ( i wonder he put oil instead of gel in excitement)...his oversized belly... wearing.. purple shirt and cargos.. and ofcourse... how can i forgot.. his bathroom slippers... asking every girl on his way that is she ankita.. my goodness.. we literaly ran from there.. and swore not to repeat such a thing again..

one thing which no teenager can escape is infactuation.. attraction towards the opposite sex seemed like lifelong love.. well... such life long love of mine have been like more than 20... bt yes.. very serious onez were only three... serious onez means like verrryyy serious onzzz.:).. one of these, was a guy who lived in my neighbourhood.... i really used to like him.. until the day my mom read my feelings for him... yes.. read.. read it in my diary entry.. i was so stupid to hv writtn it in my diary.. diary without having a lock.. and ofcourse.. things wernt good after that.. mom dint talk for an entire week... moreover.. i had to forcefully stop even looking at him... :(.. moving on.. since it's all about perspective.. i think it happened for good only.. since, moving with the flow of time.. i'v come across much better guys than him..:) (wink)...

i miss my teeange life.. most of all i miss those crushes.. will share the rest of them later.. :)..

bbyzz...